Victims of Bezness

Victims of Bezness

For most women, there comes a time when they realize that their supposed "love relationship" with a Tunisian has only been one-sided and her partner had predominantly or exclusively "Bezness" motives.

Sometimes they realize it early and in some cases only after a couple of years.
In recent years there have been, for example, several reports of men who left their wives after many years of marriage to marry instead a young woman of their home country.
In more than one case the man had even already for some years a native woman and child in his home country and in other cases, the man wanted now, despite denying it previously, "suddenly" have children.

In many cases, the separation, which is almost always desired by the husband, is requested just before or after they gained the residence in a western country, in other words, mostly after 5-8 years.
Now the man can proceed with its original life plan, and, in a traditional manner, marry an "honorable" (not divorced, young, innocent) woman from his home country and start a family with her.

In some cases, although one can't call it "Bezness", but in which, strictly speaking, the result was predictable, the man decides after a marriage of many years (often childless) to change his life according to traditional social norms of his home country.
He will then marry a woman (which is now easy for him, since he is now, having a western country resident status, being considered a "desirable husband") and have with her a family with many children.

Perhaps we can compare the behavior in some way with "college/university years" in western countries, when young people leave home and live a few years in a different place and to prepare themselves for their later careers - and in this time also like to break the social norms of their home society.
After a few years, however, the "seriousness of life" begins and they often return to their hometown and then accept the standards and values of their local community.

The probability of this is, of course, particularly high for people who live in a society whose values are and will stay alien to them, and where they can or want, from whatever reason, not take the step from one to the other environment, or want ("lack of willingness for inclusion or integration ").

Apart from the pure "Bezness" cases, in which the marriage was just a means to an end, here is an essential and additional reason for separation of binational relations.

And even if one is then often inclined to say "it was probably just Bezness", the real reason would have been "the differences between the cultures and societies of the spouses were too big".

The result, however, is for the woman, in both cases the same.

However, we will here speak only of "Bezness" relationships, which "bust" for some reason and the woman wants now to end the relationship:

Ending a Bezness relationship

First a warning: If a woman was a victim of a Bezness man, and finds it out and then wants to terminate the relationship and divorce/seperate, she should be very cautious.

In the past years, there have been several incidents in which women in a "last debate" have been raped, physically injured and, in a few cases, even killed.

And although these are rare cases, unlikely to happen, one should see clearly that, when the stakes are high, the chance of panic reactions will be high as well.

And, for a man, loosing the chance to better his life or that of his family, is "high stakes", and his disappointment and anger will be the higher, the closer he came to reach his goal.

To all talks about ending a bezness relationship, a woman should therefore never go alone (take a friend, ideally, a male, with her) and, in particular, never stay alone with the ex-lover in a remote or non-public place (eg. an apartment).

Again, even if a dangerous situation is not always and automatically imminent, one should be very cautious and prevent any situations that could possibly escalate!

In the case of threats, but also fraud or theft, in your home country or abroad, always immediately inform the local police. They are used to this kind of crimes and will usually show no mercy.
And even if the person should manage to get away this time, he won't later, if it happens again - and so, by informing the local police, one can not only protect oneself, but also possible victims in the future!

Even when you have the impression that, in a conversation with the police abroad, they do not believe you or try to blame you - the police at least in the tourist areas know such situations from daily experience and will pursue their task to help and protect tourists using their best efforts.

There is absolutely no reason for shame or restrain here!

Consider to name and shame

And, you might also consider one more step - namely, to go public and go to one of the relevant internet forums abut Bezness, where you can report your (negative) experience, either in anonymous form (without using names) or by putting an entry into a "Black List of Bezness men".

This will serve on one hand yourself, because you will meet there other victims of Bezness who have similar experiences to yours, and who will support you in dealing with an actual emotional hurting and in tackling it.

And, on the other hand, it can warn potential sucessors and therefore help others.

In some cases, it has even happened that other victims of a perpetrator turned up, who did not realize that they were all beznessed at the same time by the same Beznesser...
 

Reports in Discussion Forums

One often hears the assertion that such reports are only made by women who only want to "hurt" a man by telling lies about him. This assertion, however, is usually wrong, according to all experiences.

For, on one hand, false accusations in discussion forums will, in almost all cases, be revealed quite fast (or true accusations confirmed) by other forum members, and secondly, most people are well aware that a "mistake" in one particular case will not automatically constitute a wrong doing in another case - but it is certainly a strong hint to a potential successor to be very cautious with this person!